Certain standards must be met before a penis candy necklace is rated “super fun.” Cute cartoon penis shapes that are instantly recognizable? Check. Quality control to make sure the little penis candies are not misshapen or missing pieces? Double check. Smiles all around when you’re wearing this penis candy necklace? Congratulations, it’s super fun, with a capital P.
A bridal party without penis candy on their wrists? That’s just wrong, as any modern bachelorette can tell you. Next they’ll be going to bars without penis arrow headgear and then it’s just a short jump to getting drunk without using penis drinking straws. Don’t be that kind of hostess. Dicky Charms are strung on a stretchy string, allowing bachelorettes to playfully twirl their colorful pet penises while telling hot guys that the bride is a real bitch.
Does a Dicky Charms penis candy necklace give a bachelorette more self-confidence? Yes! Women with delicious pastel-colored sugar candy around their necks on a one-size-fits-all elastic band are the type of goal-achieving leaders who make excellent decisions in both their personal and professional lives. Plus they are really hot and sexy. And women who don’t wear Dicky Charms necklaces? After leading lives of bitter disappointment, they retire to cat-filled homes on the edge of town.