Not everyone likes dick jokes but enough people do that they are often worth the risk. Dick jokes can be low-class, stupid, childish, and demonstrate a lack of refinement, yet remain hilarious. How many subjects are that resilient? Besides, dick jokes aren’t always examples of basement-dwelling humor. Try this:
My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
See, nothing gross or even sexually suggestive about that. Just a comment that penis size commands respect. Comedian Aziz Ansari even makes a valid meta-point on the subject: a stupid dick joke is also, sometimes implicitly, a joke about the stupidity of dick jokes. So you can be smart and stupid at the same time!
Here’s one of our favorite dick jokes:
A mortician was working late one night. As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Bernie had the longest penis he had ever seen! “I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” said the mortician, “But I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It must be saved for posterity.” The coroner removed the dead man’s penis, placed it his briefcase and took it home to show his wife. “I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said, and opened his briefcase. “Oh my god!” she screamed, “Bernie Schwartz is dead!”
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